A week or so ago I posted an open call for Letters to the Predator. This generous offering is a chance for you amusing little fly fishing people to air your grievances, seek guidance, or make general inquiries. The first letter comes from a person named, “Bob”. Bob writes:
Sir:
Maybe I should not have been as surprised as I find myself in light of the lack of action following your early foray into casual cotton wear. Have you retreated under some sartorial log, unwilling to put the goods out there. I am sure you will try to blame this on humans one way or another, but I suspect that you’re dealing with some inner failure-abhorent self. Fish up and follow through, I say!
Dear Lacking Proper Punctuation,
If you are asking a question, use a question mark. They look like this: ?
The answer to your question that was lacking proper punctuation is simple: I am a fish. With pectoral fins in place of opposable thumbs and a set of accompanying fingers, it’s difficult to get things done in a world dominated by humans. T-shirt designs are done and have were put to a vote, but there was little consensus and even less response to warrant the time and great effort it would take me to pursue the matter on a solo basis. I am preparing to approach a destination fly shop in Montana to see if they’d be interested in issuing some Hawg-Brown shirts to promote their shop. If they don’t jump at the opportunity they are fools and I will take my offer to the next shop. Ultimately some fly angling business will see the inherent brilliance in my proposal, although because I am dealing with fly fishing people (who are largely challenged when it comes to intellect) it may take some time. Until then, here’s a helpful link for you.
I am Roderick Hawg-Brown, and I speak the truth.
