roderick hawg-brown

My thoughts on fishing licenses

July 25, 2012 By admin 2 Comments

I’m usually pretty tolerant; I let a good many things brush past me without a second thought. However, with water temps a bit warm lately, I’ve been hunkered under my Cut Bank with time to think. And something is gnawing at me like a sea louse.

Fishing licenses.

They’re required–sign above says so. The problem is that anyone can get one, with a few exceptions. Obviously if you’ve committed a game law infraction your license may have been revoked, or if you’re a convicted felon you probably can’t get a license. But by and large any state or province will sell you a license to fish.

Not everyone should be licensed to fish. In fact, most of you anglermen would do well to avoid fishing altogether. You come armed with the latest gear and flog the waters unskillfully because, why? Because you can.

Your fishing license entitles you to fish. You lack skill, but you are entitled.

Like a participant’s trophy, a fishing license is made available to everyone, and given out to those who really don’t deserve it; to those without skill. I’m willing to bet that when you purchased your license, the clerk at the local sporting goods store smiled at you and said, “Aw, good for you!”

I am Roderick Hawg-Brown, and I speak the truth.

By the way, if you’re interested, I was recently chased down and harassed by the paparazzi, HERE.

Filed Under: Roderick Hawg-Brown Tagged With: fishing license, fontinalis rising, participant's trophy, roderick hawg-brown

The Bull Moose and The Hawg-Brown

May 22, 2012 By admin 5 Comments

Not many anglermen are capable of catching even moderately respectable browns, so it should come as little surprise that few men have ever actually landed yours truly. A few have, though it has been scant few and they’ve been far between.

The Bull Moose and The Hawg-Brown, circa 1910

One such man who had what it took was the Rough Rider–the Bull Moose himself–President Teddy Roosevelt, seen here with myself. Details are sketchy as the photo was taken a long time ago, when I was very young. Since then I’ve been through, seen, grown and forgotten a great deal.

I respect few men, and even fewer fly anglermen. Theodore Roosevelt was an exception, but he’s long gone.

I am still here to tell you with great certainty that they don’t make them like they used to, as evidenced by all of you who happen to be reading this. You all are no Teddy Roosevelt.

I am Roderick Hawg-Brown, and I speak the truth.

Filed Under: Roderick Hawg-Brown Tagged With: hog brown trout, roderick hawg-brown, teddy roosevelt, theodore roosevelt

Letter to the Predator: T-shirts?

April 8, 2012 By admin 3 Comments

A week or so ago I posted an open call for Letters to the Predator. This generous offering is a chance for you amusing little fly fishing people to air your grievances, seek guidance, or make general inquiries. The first letter comes from a person named, “Bob”. Bob writes:

Sir:
Maybe I should not have been as surprised as I find myself in light of the lack of action following your early foray into casual cotton wear. Have you retreated under some sartorial log, unwilling to put the goods out there. I am sure you will try to blame this on humans one way or another, but I suspect that you’re dealing with some inner failure-abhorent self. Fish up and follow through, I say!

Dear Lacking Proper Punctuation,

If you are asking a question, use a question mark. They look like this: ?

The answer to your question that was lacking proper punctuation is simple: I am a fish. With pectoral fins in place of opposable thumbs and a set of accompanying fingers, it’s difficult to get things done in a world dominated by humans. T-shirt designs are done and have were put to a vote, but there was little consensus and even less response to warrant the time and great effort it would take me to pursue the matter on a solo basis. I am preparing to approach a destination fly shop in Montana to see if they’d be interested in issuing some Hawg-Brown shirts to promote their shop. If they don’t jump at the opportunity they are fools and I will take my offer to the next shop. Ultimately some fly angling business will see the inherent brilliance in my proposal, although because I am dealing with fly fishing people (who are largely challenged when it comes to intellect) it may take some time. Until then, here’s a helpful link for you.

I am Roderick Hawg-Brown, and I speak the truth.

Filed Under: Roderick Hawg-Brown Tagged With: fly fishing t-shirt designs, roderick hawg-brown

I met my first April fool

April 1, 2012 By admin 4 Comments

You haven’t heard much from the Cut Bank lately because Spring has been slow to arrive. However, a recent spell of warmer weather brought out at least one anglerman with whom I was able to have a bit of fun.

He appeared to be some sort of professional angler, decked out from head-to-toe in the finest of gear, some of which still carried the price tags. His expensive-looking little net hung from the back of his fancy, over-loaded vest. Although he was streamer fishing he had a lanyard around his neck with floatant, desiccant and fly line dressing, as well as nippers, hemostats and a whistle. Yes, a whistle. His wading staff was attached to the belt of his waders. Can you believe the price of Simms G4Z waders? After his first cast it was clear that was no professional angler, just a fool with more money than common sense. He’d have done well to spend a little of that money on casting lessons, though I do love a good tailing loop. Or, several in this case.

Being starved for a little sport I decided to engage him for a spell and half-heartedly chased his poorly-presented streamer a half dozen times. Seeing his expression through the film was priceless. On the last cast I took the end fly line in my mouth and made for the nearest sunken branch, where I proceeded to wrap the line around the lumber several times. Mr. Tailing Loop was sure he had me on as he held the tip of his brand new 6 weight high and stripped in line as he walked hurriedly downstream toward where his line was anchored. Can you believe the price of the Sage One?

I heard him call out, “He’s put his head down and won’t budge!” To whom he was speaking I do not know for there was nobody within earshot. Soon he was in the water, reeling furiously and walking closer. When he was within a dozen feet I showed him my fin and swam right between his legs, wheeled around and bit him in the back of the knee. I heard him shriek just as he fell backwards. Satisfied, I swam off with a mouthful of gore-tex. He’ll be sending those Simms waders in for some warranty repair.

If this is any indication, it’s going to be an exceptional year.

I am Roderick Hawg-Brown and I speak the truth.

Filed Under: Roderick Hawg-Brown Tagged With: brown trout fly fishing, roderick hawg-brown, Sage One rod, simms G4Z waders